What Is Executive Functioning? Practical Tips for Parents to Boost Their Child’s Skills

What’s inside this article: What executive functioning is, how neurodiversity impacts executive functions, and practical strategies for supporting children with executive dysfunction.

As parents, we often find ourselves juggling multiple roles—caregiver, teacher, coach, and sometimes even referee. But one of the most important roles we play is that of a guide, helping our children navigate the complexities of growing up.

One key area where kids need guidance is developing executive functioning skills—the mental processes that allow them to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and successfully juggle multiple tasks.

These skills can be particularly challenging to develop for neurodiverse children. You might notice your child struggling with organization, time management, or emotional regulation, which can be frustrating for both of you.

But, it’s important to remember that these challenges are not a reflection of effort or ability—they’re part of a developmental process that varies from child to child.

Understanding executive functioning and how to support its development can make a world of difference. By setting realistic expectations and incorporating practical strategies, you can help your child build these essential skills.

Let’s explore how to do that together.

What is Executive Functioning?

Executive functioning is a set of cognitive processes essential for controlling behavior and managing day-to-day tasks.

These processes include skills such as:

• Working Memory: The ability to hold and manipulate information in your mind for a short period
• Impulse Control: Thinking before acting, resisting urges or temptations that may lead to negative outcomes.
• Cognitive Flexibility: The ability to switch between tasks or thoughts and to adapt to new situations or rules.
• Planning and Organization: Skills involved in setting goals, developing strategies to achieve them, and organizing tasks in a logical sequence.
• Emotional Regulation: The ability to manage and adaptively respond to emotions.
• Task Initiation: The ability to start a task without unnecessary procrastination.
• Time Management: The ability to estimate how much time a task will take and to use time efficiently.
• Perspective-taking: The ability to understand a situation or interpret information from another person’s point of view.
• Self-Monitoring: The capacity to track your own progress and to evaluate whether you’re meeting goals or if adjustments are needed.

These skills are like the brain’s “management system,” allowing us to prioritize, focus, and control our behaviors.

When a child’s executive functioning skills are strong, they are likely to be able to:

• Plan and organize their schoolwork, assignments, and personal tasks effectively.
• Follow multi-step directions accurately without needing constant reminders.
• Start tasks promptly without procrastination or unnecessary delays.
• Stay focused on tasks, even when distractions are present.
• Manage their time efficiently, including estimating how long tasks will take and completing them on time.
• Transition between activities smoothly without becoming overwhelmed or frustrated.
• Control impulses and make thoughtful decisions rather than acting on immediate urges.
• Regulate emotions and handle frustration or setbacks without overreacting.
• Solve problems creatively and adapt to new or unexpected situations.
• Prioritize tasks effectively, focusing on what’s most important first.
• Keep track of belongings and maintain an organized workspace or backpack.
• Work independently without constant supervision or reminders from adults.
• Reflect on their actions and learn from mistakes to improve future performance.

Strong executive functioning skills are essential for children to succeed in school, manage daily activities, and interact socially.

However, for neurodiverse children, these skills can be challenging to develop and maintain.

How Neurodiversity Impacts Executive Functioning in Children

Neurodiversity is a term that recognizes the wide range of differences in brain functioning and behavior that are part of the human experience.

Autism and ADHD are just two examples of neurodiversity, and they can have a significant impact on a child’s executive functioning skills.

In fact, research shows that executive functioning in neurodiverse children is on average, about 30% behind their neurotypical peers. For example, an autistic child who is chronologically ten years old may have the executive functioning skills of a neurotypical 7-year-old.

These challenges are often referred to as executive dysfunction.

Key Features of Executive Dysfunction:

• Difficulty with Planning and Organization: Trouble breaking tasks down into steps, prioritizing them, or organizing their belongings and thoughts.
• Problems with Time Management: They might struggle with estimating how long tasks will take, often leading to procrastination or rushed work.
• Challenges with Task Initiation: Starting tasks can feel overwhelming, leading to delays or avoidance of responsibilities. They may refuse to do classwork or homework, which may appear behavioral but is actually due to lagging skills.
• Poor Self-Control: Struggles with impulse control may cause children to act without thinking, have difficulty waiting, or have challenges controlling emotional responses.
• Impaired Working Memory: Holding and manipulating information in the mind becomes difficult, affecting their ability to follow multi-step instructions or remember what they’re supposed to be doing.
• Reduced Cognitive Flexibility: Adapting to new situations or switching between tasks can be a major hurdle, often leading to frustration, anxiety, and meltdowns when routines are disrupted.
• Difficulty with Emotional Regulation: Trouble identifying and managing their emotions, intense emotional reactions, mood swings, or difficulty calming down after becoming upset.

The Importance of Setting Realistic Expectations

As parents, it’s vital to be aware of your child’s executive functioning skills and the typical abilities for their age to ensure you’re setting appropriate expectations.

This understanding is crucial because, even in typically developing children, the prefrontal region of the brain—responsible for executive functions—doesn’t finish developing and maturing until the mid-to-late twenties.

In contrast, the amygdala, part of the hindbrain that controls basic human instincts like emotional reactions and impulses, is well-developed from birth.

This difference in brain development explains why children often act impulsively or struggle to regulate their emotions—behaviors driven by a brain that is still maturing.

As a parent, it’s important to understand that the behaviors we often expect from children—such as being rational, regulating emotions, and making sound decisions—depend on a part of the brain that isn’t fully operational yet.

Understanding this developmental timeline helps parents set realistic, developmentally appropriate expectations for their child’s behavior and performance.

Expecting children to demonstrate mature executive functioning skills consistently is unrealistic and leads to unnecessary frustration for both the parent and child. When your expectations are reasonable, you will see more opportunities for your child to succeed.

Recognizing where your child is on their developmental journey allows you to support them more effectively.

Supporting Children with Executive Dysfunction

Supporting children with executive dysfunction requires a deep understanding of their unique challenges and a compassionate approach that helps them develop these essential skills over time.

A successful approach includes a combination of practical strategies, environmental modifications, and emotional support.

Here are some ways to support kids with executive dysfunction:

1. Establish Structured Routines

Consistent Daily Schedules: Children with executive dysfunction thrive on consistency and structure. Establishing clear daily routines reduces anxiety and makes it easier for them to manage transitions.

Create a predictable daily routine that includes time for homework, chores, play, and relaxation. Learn more.

Use Visual Schedules: Implement visual schedules or checklists to help your child keep track of their day. This provides a clear visual guide for transitioning between activities.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Understand Developmental Stages: Be aware of your child’s developmental stage and set expectations aligning with their abilities. This avoids frustration and helps build confidence.

Adjust Expectations Based on Progress: Adjust expectations accordingly as your child grows and develops. Celebrate small victories and progress, even if it’s incremental.

3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Guide Through Scenarios: Help your child practice problem-solving by discussing different scenarios and brainstorming solutions together.

Find tips for developing problem-solving skills here.

Use Social Scripts: Social scripts can help children understand how to handle various situations, such as resolving conflicts or completing tasks, by providing clear examples.

4. Implement Organizational Tools

Checklists and To-Do Lists: Use daily or weekly checklists to help your child keep track of tasks. This empowers them to manage responsibilities independently.

Color-Coding Systems: Organize materials and tasks using color-coding systems to make it easier for your child to find what they need and stay organized.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Mindfulness Exercises: Introduce simple mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or guided imagery, to help your child manage stress and improve focus.

Find nine mindfulness activities here.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: To help your child calm down, teach them relaxation techniques that involve tensing and relaxing different muscle groups. Download a free muscle relaxation script here.

6. Provide Frequent Feedback and Positive Reinforcement

Immediate Feedback: Offer feedback immediately after tasks are completed so your child knows what they did well and where to improve.

Positive Reinforcement: Use praise, rewards, or other forms of positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors and build your child’s confidence.

7. Create a Calm and Organized Environment

Minimize Distractions: For completing homework, set up a designated workspace free from distractions like noise or clutter, which will help your child focus better.

Organize Materials: Keep your child’s workspace tidy and materials organized to reduce frustration and save time when they need to find something.

8. Use Timers and Time Management Tools

Visual Timers: Use visual timers to help your child see how much time they have left to complete a task, improving their time management skills.

Set Time Limits: Break tasks into timed chunks with short breaks in between, helping your child stay focused and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

9. Encourage Physical Activity

Active Play: Encourage regular physical activity to improve focus, reduce stress, and support overall brain health. Activities like yoga, team sports, or outdoor play are beneficial.

Movement Breaks: Incorporate short movement breaks during long tasks to help your child stay focused and reduce restlessness. For example, this 7-minute animal-themed workout for kids!

10. Establish Clear Expectations and Consistent Rules

Set Clear Guidelines: Ensure your child understands the rules and expectations in different environments, whether at home or school. Consistency helps reduce confusion and anxiety.

Use Visual Reminders: Post visual reminders of rules or expectations in key areas, such as near the homework station, in the livingroom, at the dinner table, etc. to reinforce understanding.

11. Build Independence Gradually

Start Small: Encourage your child to take responsibility for small tasks and gradually build up to more complex ones as they become more confident.

Offer Choices: Allow your child to choose how to complete tasks, fostering a sense of control and respecting personal autonomy.

12. Work with Teachers and Support Staff

Collaborate on Strategies: Work closely with your child’s teachers, school counselors, or special education staff to develop and implement consistent strategies that work both at home and in the classroom.

Communicate Regularly: Maintain open communication with educators to monitor your child’s progress and adjust strategies as needed.

13. Model Executive Function Skills

Demonstrate Planning and Organization: Let your child observe how you plan and organize tasks, manage time, and solve problems. Modeling these behaviors helps them learn by example.

Talk out loud about the steps you’re taking as you work through your daily responsibilities to help your child recognize common organization and planning methods.

Talk Through Decisions: Discuss your thought process when making decisions, including your options and potential short—and long-term outcomes. This will help your child learn how to evaluate options and make thoughtful choices.

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Conclusion

Supporting your child with executive dysfunction isn’t about striving for perfection or expecting immediate results—it’s about creating an environment where your child feels understood, supported, and empowered to grow.

You can help your child improve executive functioning by setting realistic expectations, establishing structured routines, and using tools like visual supports and mindfulness techniques.

As you implement strategies for developing executive functioning skills, you equip your child with the tools they need to succeed.

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