What Are Executive Functions? Practical Tips for Parents to Boost Their Child’s Skills
What’s inside this article: What executive functions are, how neurodiversity impacts executive functions, and practical strategies for helping kids build executive function skills.
As parents, we often find ourselves juggling multiple roles—caregiver, teacher, coach, and sometimes even referee. But one of the most important roles we play is that of a guide, helping our children navigate the complexities of growing up.
One key area where children need guidance is developing executive function skills—the mental processes that enable them to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and successfully manage multiple tasks.
These skills can be particularly challenging for neurodivergent children to develop. You might notice your child needing more support with organization, time management, or emotional regulation, which can feel overwhelming for both of you.
But, it’s important to remember that these differences aren’t a reflection of effort or ability—they’re part of natural brain differences that vary from child to child.
Understanding executive functions and how to support their development can make a world of difference. By setting realistic expectations and incorporating practical strategies, you can help your child build these essential skills.
Let’s explore how to do that together.
What Are Executive Functions?
Executive functions are a set of cognitive processes essential for controlling behavior and managing day-to-day tasks.
These processes include skills such as:
- Working Memory: The ability to hold and manipulate information in your mind for a short period
- Impulse Control: Thinking before acting, pausing to consider options before responding to situations
- Cognitive Flexibility: The ability to switch between tasks or thoughts and to adapt to new situations or changes in routines.
- Planning and Organization: Skills involved in setting goals, developing strategies to achieve them, and organizing tasks in a logical sequence.
- Emotional Regulation: The ability to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in helpful ways.
- Task Initiation: The ability to start a task without unnecessary procrastination.
- Time Management: The ability to estimate how much time a task will take and to use time efficiently.
- Perspective-taking: The ability to understand a situation or interpret information from another person’s point of view.
- Self-Monitoring: The capacity to track your own progress and to evaluate whether you’re meeting goals or if adjustments are needed.
These skills are like the brain’s “management system,” allowing us to prioritize, focus, and control our behaviors.
When a child’s executive function skills are developing well, they are likely to be able to:
- Plan and organize their schoolwork, assignments, and personal tasks effectively.
- Follow multi-step directions accurately without needing constant reminders.
- Start tasks with minimal support or unnecessary delays.
- Stay focused on tasks, even when distractions are present.
- Manage their time efficiently, including estimating how long tasks will take and completing them on time.
- Transition between activities smoothly without becoming overwhelmed or frustrated.
- Think before acting and make thoughtful decisions.
- Recognize and manage emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
- Solve problems creatively and adapt to new or unexpected situations.
- Prioritize tasks effectively, focusing on what’s most important first.
- Keep track of belongings and maintain an organized workspace or backpack.
- Work independently for age-appropriate periods of time.
- Reflect on their actions and experiences, and learn from them to improve future performance.
Strong executive functioning skills are essential for children to succeed in school, manage daily activities, and for positive social interactions.
However, for neurodivergent children, these skills often develop at a different pace and may need additional support.
How Neurodiversity Impacts Executive Functioning in Children
Neurodiversity is a term that recognizes the wide range of differences in brain functioning and behavior that are part of the human experience.
Autism and ADHD are just two examples of neurodiversity, and they can have a significant impact on how a child’s executive function skills develop.
In fact, research shows that executive functioning in neurodivergent children is, on average, about 30% behind their neurotypical peers.
Research shows that executive functions in neurodivergent children often develop about 30% behind the typical timeline for their age group.
For example, an autistic child who is chronologically ten years old may have executive function skills similar to those typically seen in a seven-year-old. This is important to know because it helps you set realistic expectations for your child. Your expectations should be based on your child’s current abilities, not their chronological age.
You may hear professionals refer to these as “executive dysfunction,” but we prefer to think of them as differences in how your child’s brain processes and manages information.
Differences in Executive Functions Might Look Like:
- Differences in Planning and Organization: Your child might find it challenging to break tasks down into steps, prioritize them, or organize their belongings and thoughts.
- Time Management Differences: They might find it difficult to estimate how long tasks will take, which can lead to rushing through work or needing more time than expected.
- Task Initiation Differences: Starting tasks can feel overwhelming, leading to avoidance of responsibilities. They may resist doing classwork or homework, which may appear behavioral but is actually due to skills that are still developing.
- Self-Control Differences: Your child might act impulsively, have difficulty waiting, or find it challenging to manage emotional responses in the moment.
- Working Memory Differences: Holding and manipulating information in the mind can be challenging, affecting their ability to follow multi-step instructions or remember what they were doing.
- Cognitive Flexibility Differences: Adapting to new situations or switching between tasks can be challenging, sometimes leading to frustration or distress when routines change unexpectedly.
- Emotional Regulation Differences: Your child might need extra support identifying and managing their emotions, or they may have intense emotional responses that take longer to process.
The Importance of Setting Realistic Expectations
As parents, it’s vital to be aware of your child’s executive function abilities to ensure you’re setting appropriate expectations.
This understanding is crucial because, even in typically developing children, the prefrontal region of the brain—responsible for executive functions—doesn’t finish developing and maturing until the mid-to-late twenties.
In contrast, the amygdala, part of the brain that processes emotions and responses, is well-developed from birth.
This difference in brain development explains why children often act impulsively or need support regulating their emotions—these are normal responses from a brain that is still maturing.
As a parent, it’s important to understand that the behaviors we often expect from children, such as being rational, regulating emotions, and sound decision-making, depend on a part of the brain that isn’t fully operational yet.
Understanding this developmental timeline helps parents set realistic, developmentally appropriate expectations for their child’s behavior and performance.
Expecting children to consistently demonstrate mature executive function skills is unrealistic and can lead to unnecessary frustration for both you and your child.
When your expectations align with your child’s current abilities, you create more opportunities for them to succeed and feel confident.
Recognizing where your child is on their developmental journey allows you to support them more effectively.
13 Ways to Support Executive Functions in Neurodivergent Children
Supporting children who need extra help with executive functions requires understanding their unique profile and using a compassionate approach that helps them develop these essential skills over time.
A successful approach includes a combination of practical strategies, environmental modifications, and emotional support.
Here are some ways to support kids who need extra executive function support:
1. Establish Structured Routines
Consistent Daily Schedules: Children who need executive function support often thrive on consistency and structure. Establishing clear daily routines reduces anxiety and makes it easier for them to manage transitions.
Create a predictable daily routine that includes time for homework, chores, play, and relaxation. Learn more here.
Use Visual Schedules: Implement visual schedules or checklists to help your child keep track of their day. This provides a clear visual guide for transitioning between activities.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Understand Developmental Stages: Be aware of your child’s developmental stage and set expectations aligning with their abilities. This reduces frustration and helps build confidence.
Adjust Expectations Based on Progress: As your child grows and develops, adjust expectations accordingly. Celebrate small victories and progress, even if it’s incremental.
3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Guide Through Scenarios: Help your child practice problem-solving by discussing different scenarios and brainstorming solutions together.
Find tips for developing problem-solving skills here.
Use Social Scripts: Social scripts can help children understand how to handle various situations, such as resolving conflicts or completing tasks, by providing clear examples.
4. Implement Organizational Tools
Checklists and To-Do Lists: Use daily or weekly checklists to help your child keep track of tasks. This supports them in managing responsibilities more independently.
Color-Coding Systems: Organize materials and tasks using color-coding systems to make it easier for your child to find what they need and stay organized.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness Exercises: Introduce simple mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or 5-4-3-2-1 grounding, to help your child manage stress and improve focus.
Find nine mindfulness activities here.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: To help your child calm down, teach them relaxation techniques that involve tensing and relaxing different muscle groups. Download a free muscle relaxation script here.
6. Provide Positive Feedback and Positive Reinforcement
Immediate Feedback: Offer feedback soon after tasks are completed so your child knows what they did well and what they might try differently next time.
Celebrate Effort and Growth: Notice and acknowledge your child’s efforts, problem-solving attempts, and progress. Focus on specific actions they took rather than general praise. For example, “I noticed you remembered to put your backpack in the same spot” or “You tried a different approach when the first one didn’t work.” This builds confidence, intrinsic motivation and helps your child recognize their own growth.
7. Create a Calm and Organized Environment
Minimize Distractions: Set up a designated workspace free from distractions like noise or clutter, which will help your child focus better when completing homework or projects.
Organize Materials: Keep your child’s workspace tidy and materials organized to reduce frustration and save time when they need to find something.
8. Use Timers and Time Management Tools
Visual Timers: Visual timers can be helpful for building time awareness and easing transitions. Instead of using them to pressure your child to complete a task within a set time, try framing it as “math time” or “clean-up time,” where the focus is on staying engaged for a certain duration, not finishing a specific amount of work. You want to avoid creating anxiety around “beating the clock” or causing your child to rush through tasks.
Set Time Limits: Break activities into manageable, timed chunks followed by short breaks. For example, 15 minutes of focused effort followed by a 5-minute movement break. This approach encourages sustained attention and helps reduce overwhelm without creating unnecessary performance pressure.
9. Encourage Physical Activity
Active Play: Encourage regular physical activity to improve focus, reduce stress, and support overall brain health. Activities like yoga, team sports, or outdoor play are beneficial.
Movement Breaks: Incorporate short movement breaks during long tasks to help your child stay focused and reduce restlessness. For example, this 7-minute animal-themed workout for kids!
10. Establish Clear Expectations and Consistent Rules
Set Clear Guidelines: Ensure your child understands the expectations in different environments, whether at home or school. Consistency helps reduce confusion and anxiety.
Use Visual Reminders: Post visual reminders of expectations in key areas, such as near the homework station or in common areas, to reinforce understanding..
11. Build Independence Gradually
Start Small: Encourage your child to take responsibility for small tasks and gradually build up to more complex ones as they become more confident.
Offer Choices: Allow your child to choose how to complete tasks when possible, supporting their sense of autonomy and respecting their preferences.
12. Work with Teachers and Support Staff
Collaborate on Strategies: Work closely with your child’s teachers, school counselors, or special education staff to develop and implement consistent strategies that work both at home and in the classroom.
Communicate Regularly: Maintain open communication with educators to monitor your child’s progress and adjust strategies as needed.
13. Model Executive Function Skills
Demonstrate Planning and Organization: Let your child observe how you plan and organize tasks, manage time, and solve problems. Modeling these behaviors helps them learn by example.
Talk out loud about the steps you’re taking as you work through your daily responsibilities to help your child recognize common organization and planning methods.
Talk Through Decisions: Discuss your thought process when making decisions, including your options and potential short—and long-term outcomes. This will help your child learn how to evaluate options and make thoughtful choices.
More Resources for Building Executive Functions
Conclusion
Supporting your child who needs extra executive function support isn’t about achieving perfection or expecting immediate results—it’s about creating an environment where your child feels understood, supported, and empowered to grow.
You can help your child strengthen their executive function skills by setting realistic expectations, establishing structured routines, and using tools like visual supports and mindfulness techniques.
As you implement strategies for developing executive function skills, you equip your child with the tools they need to succeed.
