What’s inside this article: A look at two important skills, effortful control, and emotional regulation, and how the two are interconnected. Includes what happens inside the brain when these skills are at play, why they’re so important, and how to help kids build better effortful control and emotional regulation.
When we observe children, we often admire their natural curiosity, boundless energy, and emotional openness. However, as parents, educators, and clinicians, it’s also vital to recognize and nurture the inner mechanisms that help children navigate their feelings and the world around them.
Two key components of this intricate system are ‘effortful control’ and ’emotional regulation.’
For children, particularly those who are neurodiverse, understanding and fostering these attributes can pave the way for a balanced emotional landscape and better interpersonal relationships.
What is Effortful Control?
Effortful control refers to a child’s ability to suppress a dominant response in order to perform a subdominant one.
In simpler terms, it’s the skill children use to regulate their behaviors, even when they feel like doing the opposite. We often look at effortful control as self-control or impulse control.
It’s a skill that allows them to refrain from grabbing a toy they want from another child or to wait patiently for their turn, even when they’re bubbling with excitement.
For a young child, exhibiting such restraint is akin to a Herculean task. However, with guidance and practice, this ability starts coming more naturally. If your child needs to work on this skill, explicit teaching and play-based learning opportunities can be beneficial.
What Happens In The Brain When Children Exert Effortful Control
When a child uses effortful control, it’s like there’s a big red “STOP” button inside their brain, and when they want to do something but know they shouldn’t, they press this button.
Several parts of the brain are involved in the process:
- Frontal Lobe: This is like the brain’s “control room.” and what I refer to as the thinking brain. It’s right behind the forehead. When a child thinks hard or makes decisions, this part is very active.
- Prefrontal Cortex: This is a special section of the “control room .”It’s like the brain’s “commander” and helps a child decide what’s a good or bad choice. This part of the brain isn’t fully developed until early adulthood; that’s why some skills, including self-regulation and effortful control, are so difficult for children.
- Anterior Cingulate Cortex: Consider this as the brain’s “camera switcher.” It helps a child focus on different things and decide what’s most important at the moment.
When a child exhibits effortful control, these areas of the brain work together to help them inhibit their behavior.
Keeping in mind the different parts of the brain that need to work in unison, along with the fact that these areas of the brain are still developing, it’s easier to understand as adults why this is so challenging for some children.
Understanding Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is closely linked but distinct from effortful control. It refers to how individuals manage and respond to their emotional experiences.
For a child, this includes learning to calm down after a frustrating situation, seeking comfort when they’re scared, or expressing joy in a socially appropriate manner.
For neurodiverse children, understanding and regulating emotion is often significantly challenging. Learning emotional regulation is important because it’s needed for interpreting feelings, coping with big emotions, and expressing feelings in healthy ways.
The Interplay Between Effortful Control and Emotional Regulation
At their core, effortful control and emotional regulation are both about mastering impulses and reactions.
Children who learn to exercise effortful control are better equipped to navigate emotional situations. For instance, a child with strong, effortful control may more easily pause, take a few deep breaths, and then choose to discuss a problem rather than impulsively throw a tantrum.
On the flip side, when children can regulate their emotions, it becomes easier for them to exert effortful control. A child who recognizes and understands their feeling is more likely to resist acting on impulse.
The synergy between these two abilities creates a loop of internal positive reinforcement. As one skill strengthens, it bolsters the other, culminating in a more resilient, understanding, and equipped child to handle challenges.
Why Emotional Regulation and Effortful Control Skills Are Pivotal for a Child’s Well-being
Effortful control and emotional regulation contribute significantly to cognitive, emotional, and social development, so these skills affect a child’s well-being in many ways.
- Social Relationships: Children who regulate emotions and behaviors are better equipped to form healthy social relationships. They can more easily empathize with peers, share, and resolve conflicts with maturity.
- Academic Success: In an educational setting, these skills translate to better concentration, persistence, and problem-solving abilities, leading to enhanced academic performance.
- Mental Health: Children with a strong foundation in these areas tend to have higher self-esteem and confidence. They’re less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. They can process setbacks and maintain a balanced emotional state.
- Future Success: These foundational skills don’t just impact a child’s present. They set the tone for their future, cultivating resilience, determination, and emotional intelligence.
Building Effortful Control & Emotional Regulation
It’s clear why these skills are essential and how they are connected – but how can you help a struggling child develop these skills?
The following resources will help you and your child understand and build effortful control and emotional regulation successfully:
- Boosting Effortful Control: Strategies and Techniques
- How to Use Emotion Coaching to Teach Children Self-Regulation
- How to Add More Structure to Your Home
- 120 Emotional Self-Regulation Ideas for Kids
- Understanding and Coping with Feelings Printables
The journey of childhood is filled with learning moments. As caregivers, educators, and clinicians, we can help children navigate these moments and build essential skills.
By understanding and nurturing effortful control and emotional regulation, we’re gifting our children the compass and map to navigate their emotional world, ensuring a more balanced, resilient, and fulfilled future.