What’s inside this article: Warning signs of anxiety in preteens and teens. How to tell if it’s a normal level of anxiety, or excessive, and what to do if you suspect, or your child is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Anxiety is a completely normal emotion that everybody has, but when a person has excessive anxiety that interferes with their life, it becomes an anxiety disorder.
Anxiety disorders are relatively common. In fact, approximately 13% of preteens and teens have a diagnosis of some form of anxiety disorder.
Plus, many more children and teens experience anxiety symptoms without a clinical diagnosis. This is why it’s so crucial for parents to stay informed and know what signs of anxiety to look out for.
How to Know If Your Child’s Anxiety Is Normal
Everyone experiences anxiety. It’s a normal emotion and a way our brains help keep us safe. This makes it challenging at times, to know whether or not your child’s anxiety is cause for concern.
As a rule of thumb, if the symptoms are causing distress to the point that they change how your child lives, it’s a problem and worthy of consulting a physician.
For example, it’s normal to feel anxious before giving a presentation. But if your child feels so anxious that they become physically ill and miss school, there’s a problem.
Untreated anxiety issues may lead to other mental health problems, like depression or dysfunctional eating. So, always discuss your concerns with your child’s doctor.
Warning Signs Your Child’s Experiencing Anxiety
Identifying anxiety in preteens and teens can be challenging, as it often manifests in ways that might be mistaken for typical adolescent behavior.
Here are some common warning signs to look out for:
Emotional Signs:
- Excessive Worry: Preteens and teens might constantly worry about school, friendships, or family matters.
- Restlessness: They may seem unable to relax, always on edge, or hyperactive.
- Irritability: Increased irritability, moodiness, or frequent angry outbursts.
- Feeling Overwhelmed: Expressing feelings of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with daily life.
Physical Signs
- Frequent Headaches or Stomachaches: These can be physical manifestations of anxiety.
- Fatigue: Feeling tired all the time despite getting enough sleep.
- Changes in Sleep Patterns: Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much.
- Appetite Changes: Eating significantly more or less than usual.
Behavioral Signs
- Avoidance: Avoiding activities, social interactions, or places they used to enjoy. Refusal to go to school is another indicator.
- Decline in Academic Performance: A noticeable drop in grades or school performance.
- Procrastination: Putting off tasks or homework more than usual.
- Withdrawal: Isolating themselves from friends and family, spending more time alone, staying in their bedroom.
Cognitive Signs
- Difficulty Concentrating: Trouble focusing on tasks or following conversations.
- Negative Thinking: Frequent negative thoughts or self-criticism. See: Negative Thinking and Anxiety in Kids
- Indecisiveness: Having a hard time making decisions or constantly second-guessing themselves.
Social Signs
- Social Withdrawal: Reduced interest in social activities or reluctance to participate in group events.
- Changes in Friendships: Sudden changes in friend groups or conflicts with peers.
- Bullying: Both being bullied and doing the bullying can be signs that a preteen or teen has unaddressed anxiety.
Additional Signs
- Excessive Need for Reassurance: Frequently seeking reassurance about their actions, decisions, or performance.
- Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards for themselves and being very critical of their own mistakes.
- Risky Behaviors: Engaging in risky behaviors such as substance abuse or self-harm as a coping mechanism.
- Panic Attacks: These are brief episodes that involve shaking, sweating, dizziness, racing heart, trouble breathing (hyperventilating) and a sense of impending doom. Panic attacks are sometimes isolated or may be part of a more significant anxiety disorder like panic disorder.
Early Puberty Can Cause Anxiety
Preteens who start puberty early are at higher risk for anxiety. This is known as precocious puberty.
With puberty comes bodily changes and hormonal changes, which can affect anxiety levels. Going through these changes before their peers can be exceptionally hard for preteens as they experience all these changes alone.
Along with adapting to bodily changes from puberty, preteens and teens also need more privacy due to menstrual cycles for girls and erections for boys. Preteens in lower grades may not be able to access the needed level of privacy as readily as high school teens.
This might feel like more than your child can handle.
Bullying
Being bullied at school is another factor contributing to anxiety in preteens and teens.
Bullying can cause anxiety issues both immediately (anxious about going to school and being bullied) and long-term (damage to self-esteem and body image from being bullied).
Plus, the kids doing the bullying may also have unaddressed anxiety issues.
Is your child being bullied?
- Have regular conversations with your child about their peer relationships
- Teach kids about kindness, being a good friend, and being in healthy relationships so they know when someone is treating them unhealthily
- Teach about problem-solving, compromising, and other social skills to set them up for successfully handling difficult social situations.
- Ensure your child has a safe, trusted adult in their life they can talk to if they are bullied. Not all teens feel comfortable opening up to their parents.
Decreasing Anxiety
You can help reduce anxiety in many ways.
- Regular exercise decreases anxiety and improves mood
- Having a toolbox of coping strategies for difficult situations
- Eating healthy
- Journaling
- Mindfulness
- Talking to someone you trust
- The Step Ladder Approach
- For some, therapy and/or medication are needed.
If you’re worried your child is struggling to manage anxiety, talk to their doctor or pediatrician. A referral to a therapist may be in order.
Remember, it’s normal for everyone to experience anxiety from time to time. However, about 13% of preteens and teens have a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
If you believe your child’s anxiety is interfering with their day to day life, it’s important to discuss with their primary care provider to ensure they receive the help, support, and treatment they need to manage their anxiety.